Comedy Break
I can see this blog is going to be addictive, at least for a while. Hey, I need something to replace online poker. (I stopped playing about a month ago. Aren't you proud?)
Anyhoo, I have been drawing inspiration from another divorce blog I stumbled upon. The poster is a very good writer, and her stories make me appreciate one (extremely major) thing: that S. and I never had children. I can't even wrap my mind around how much more difficult all of this would be if we did.
Anyhoo, one of her readers posted the following comment, which made me laugh out loud. I just have to share:
You'll appreciate this story:
A woman I played volleyball with was getting a divorce. When her husband moved out, she agreed amicably to split everything 50/50 and he took half of their community property. When they got to court, he was demanding half of what was in the house. She argued that he'd already taken half of everything and that, to award him more would give him 75% of the community property and she'd be left with barely anything. The argument fell on deaf (male) ears and she was ordered to pony up half of everything.
So, she borrowed her brother's chainsaw...
When her ex came to collect his stuff, she gave him exactly HALF of every piece of furniture.
The judge was amused, said it was creative, and told her ex that she'd complied with the order as it stood but that he would obviously have to be more specific from there on out. I love fiesty women!
Great, huh? Although it does give me cause for concern--it the courts were stupid enough to award her husband half of the remaining half, what does this say about their sense of fairness in the first place? Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I actually don't have any issues with S. over the (non-monetary) property division. I basically took everything I came into the relationship with, and I was generous enough to leave him with the living room couch and chair (which I bought just last year), the kitchen island (which I also bought), the TV (which we bought together), and miscellaneous other items I didn't need or care about. I had enough of my own stuff, along with some items I got from an aunt, to pretty much furnish my apartment. There was a funny incident after I moved out, though. I realized I had taken a few things I hadn't meant to take and left a few things I hadn't meant to leave. Very minor things--a few CDs, a lid to a pot, a blanket, stuff like that. So I e-mailed S., asking if we could arrange to exchange these things. Keep in mind that I was offering to return some of his stuff as well. I even assured him that he wouldn't even have to gaze upon the evilness that is me--we could just leave boxes on each other's porches or something. He wrote back, saying that if there was anything in the house I wanted, I should give a list to my attorney, who would give it to his attorney. Um, yeah. I responded that I was not interested in involving attorneys over things like pot lids and CDs, but that if he wanted to do so, he should feel free. A while later, he wrote back that yeah, I was right, and he was just "freaking," and we could exchange this stuff without attorneys, he supposed. I wrote back suggesting an arrangement for the exchange (again, not involving actually seeing each other in person). Thus began the e-mail blackout on the part of S. I have heard nothing from him since. Nothing.
Did I mention that he changed his phone number? That he changed the locks on the house? That when I tried to call him at work, the receptionist hung up on me?
Apparently, he is still "freaking," and will continue to do so. The freak.
Anyhoo, I have been drawing inspiration from another divorce blog I stumbled upon. The poster is a very good writer, and her stories make me appreciate one (extremely major) thing: that S. and I never had children. I can't even wrap my mind around how much more difficult all of this would be if we did.
Anyhoo, one of her readers posted the following comment, which made me laugh out loud. I just have to share:
You'll appreciate this story:
A woman I played volleyball with was getting a divorce. When her husband moved out, she agreed amicably to split everything 50/50 and he took half of their community property. When they got to court, he was demanding half of what was in the house. She argued that he'd already taken half of everything and that, to award him more would give him 75% of the community property and she'd be left with barely anything. The argument fell on deaf (male) ears and she was ordered to pony up half of everything.
So, she borrowed her brother's chainsaw...
When her ex came to collect his stuff, she gave him exactly HALF of every piece of furniture.
The judge was amused, said it was creative, and told her ex that she'd complied with the order as it stood but that he would obviously have to be more specific from there on out. I love fiesty women!
Great, huh? Although it does give me cause for concern--it the courts were stupid enough to award her husband half of the remaining half, what does this say about their sense of fairness in the first place? Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I actually don't have any issues with S. over the (non-monetary) property division. I basically took everything I came into the relationship with, and I was generous enough to leave him with the living room couch and chair (which I bought just last year), the kitchen island (which I also bought), the TV (which we bought together), and miscellaneous other items I didn't need or care about. I had enough of my own stuff, along with some items I got from an aunt, to pretty much furnish my apartment. There was a funny incident after I moved out, though. I realized I had taken a few things I hadn't meant to take and left a few things I hadn't meant to leave. Very minor things--a few CDs, a lid to a pot, a blanket, stuff like that. So I e-mailed S., asking if we could arrange to exchange these things. Keep in mind that I was offering to return some of his stuff as well. I even assured him that he wouldn't even have to gaze upon the evilness that is me--we could just leave boxes on each other's porches or something. He wrote back, saying that if there was anything in the house I wanted, I should give a list to my attorney, who would give it to his attorney. Um, yeah. I responded that I was not interested in involving attorneys over things like pot lids and CDs, but that if he wanted to do so, he should feel free. A while later, he wrote back that yeah, I was right, and he was just "freaking," and we could exchange this stuff without attorneys, he supposed. I wrote back suggesting an arrangement for the exchange (again, not involving actually seeing each other in person). Thus began the e-mail blackout on the part of S. I have heard nothing from him since. Nothing.
Did I mention that he changed his phone number? That he changed the locks on the house? That when I tried to call him at work, the receptionist hung up on me?
Apparently, he is still "freaking," and will continue to do so. The freak.
posted by flipper at 1:18 PM
3 Comments:
Hey there...no worries about posting your link in my comments. I came earlier to add your blog to my links...but toddler duties interfered with my plans. :-)
Regarding your situation...just think, at least you don't have to go home to him! That's what I think when I get really frustrated...at least I don't live with The Idiot any more!
Thanks, Jenn! You'll be happy to know (?) that I got totally engrossed in your blog today and read the whole thing. (Um, yes, in lieu of doing my taxes, which I'm going to start VERY SOON.)
You're right--it is so nice to come home to peace and quiet rather than tension and arguing (or rather, as was more often the case, not really speaking to each other). I'm doing O.K., and I'm writing again, so it's all good.
I can't tell you how much respect and admiration I have for you in the amazing fight you've put up for the sake of your daughter. You are truly a great parent. She will be fine, in spite of The Idiot's presence in her life.
It would be great if you linked to my blog, and I would like to do the same if I ever learn how. (Burb???) I did send the address to close friends and family, but I can't have it show up on the Blogger home page or S. might find it (although that's doubtful--he's pretty lazy).
All the best to you and Bellie--I'll continue to check in.
Just tap me on the shoulder and I'll show you how to link things up.
It's no problem . . . and I am glad you are writing more too!
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