Reward for Being the Better Person: $60
Well, it's over.
As predicted, it was very weird seeing S. But the whole thing turned out to be . . . rather unremarkable. He looked the same, and he acted the same--and by the latter I mean that, as was the case for most of the last year, he didn't really talk to me. When we first sat down before we met with the tax prep person, we made some small talk--he asked about my nephew and neice, and I asked about his dad. After that, it was pretty much just uncomfortable silence for the next two hours while our obviously and woefully underqualified tax prepper punched our info into the computer--that is, when she wasn't staring in unabashed bafflement at the screen, which was most of the time. Apparently, our particular tax prep situation doesn't come up that often, and she wasn't sure what to do.
Anyway, on the logistical side, here's what went down. When we finally got the figures on the outcome of what would happen if we filed jointly, it turned out that if I agreed to go that route, I would be out about $60. I said I wasn't really interested in doing that, because--well, why would I? So then, she ran the numbers for what S. would owe if he filed separately. The result? He would owe around $700.
This is the part where I experienced a brief internal battle. It reminded me of that thing you used to see in cartoons and sitcoms, where a character would have a little devil sitting on one shoulder and a little angel sitting on the other. The little devil was screaming, "Let him file separately! Let him pay hundreds of dollars! Get back at him for screwing you out of the house money!" And the little angel, of course, was quietly reasoning, "Be nice. Don't sink to that level. Be a nice person and do the decent thing." And for once, the quiet reasoning won out over the screaming. So, I said I would be willing to file jointly if S. agreed to pay me the difference so that I would still come out $91 ahead (which is what I received from filing separately in the first place). AND he would have to pay the whole prep fee of $191. And of course, since it was still saving him about $300, he agreed. And then, after we finally hashed out how he would pay and how I would get my money, I wound up coming out about $60 more ahead. I'm not sure how that happened, and I'm not going to question it now--besides, I feel like I deserve the extra money for the hassle I went through.
So, all in all, things turned out well. I feel good that I managed to avoid punishing him, although part of me really, really wanted to.
We didn't talk afterwards, after all. In the end, he said he "wasn't ready yet." What he might not realize is that by the time he's finally ready, I will quite likely no longer be interested. And unless he does some rather drastic self-searching and learns how to communicate, it won't do any good anyway.
Finally, here's a couple other noteworthy things that happened that illustrate very well the dichotomy that is S.:
*At one point during the whole tax prep thing, he had to run back to the house to get some forms he'd forgotten. When he returned, he brought a jacket for me to wear, because it was freezing in the tax office. This would be the sweet and charming side of him that I mentioned before.
*At another point in the proceedings, he slipped and called me "hon." This was the only time during the whole ordeal that I almost cried.
*Ultimately, when we finished with the whole mess, he did not thank me for saving him hundreds of dollars. Not one word of thanks, just "Take care, see ya." Ah, yes. That was more what I expected.
As predicted, it was very weird seeing S. But the whole thing turned out to be . . . rather unremarkable. He looked the same, and he acted the same--and by the latter I mean that, as was the case for most of the last year, he didn't really talk to me. When we first sat down before we met with the tax prep person, we made some small talk--he asked about my nephew and neice, and I asked about his dad. After that, it was pretty much just uncomfortable silence for the next two hours while our obviously and woefully underqualified tax prepper punched our info into the computer--that is, when she wasn't staring in unabashed bafflement at the screen, which was most of the time. Apparently, our particular tax prep situation doesn't come up that often, and she wasn't sure what to do.
Anyway, on the logistical side, here's what went down. When we finally got the figures on the outcome of what would happen if we filed jointly, it turned out that if I agreed to go that route, I would be out about $60. I said I wasn't really interested in doing that, because--well, why would I? So then, she ran the numbers for what S. would owe if he filed separately. The result? He would owe around $700.
This is the part where I experienced a brief internal battle. It reminded me of that thing you used to see in cartoons and sitcoms, where a character would have a little devil sitting on one shoulder and a little angel sitting on the other. The little devil was screaming, "Let him file separately! Let him pay hundreds of dollars! Get back at him for screwing you out of the house money!" And the little angel, of course, was quietly reasoning, "Be nice. Don't sink to that level. Be a nice person and do the decent thing." And for once, the quiet reasoning won out over the screaming. So, I said I would be willing to file jointly if S. agreed to pay me the difference so that I would still come out $91 ahead (which is what I received from filing separately in the first place). AND he would have to pay the whole prep fee of $191. And of course, since it was still saving him about $300, he agreed. And then, after we finally hashed out how he would pay and how I would get my money, I wound up coming out about $60 more ahead. I'm not sure how that happened, and I'm not going to question it now--besides, I feel like I deserve the extra money for the hassle I went through.
So, all in all, things turned out well. I feel good that I managed to avoid punishing him, although part of me really, really wanted to.
We didn't talk afterwards, after all. In the end, he said he "wasn't ready yet." What he might not realize is that by the time he's finally ready, I will quite likely no longer be interested. And unless he does some rather drastic self-searching and learns how to communicate, it won't do any good anyway.
Finally, here's a couple other noteworthy things that happened that illustrate very well the dichotomy that is S.:
*At one point during the whole tax prep thing, he had to run back to the house to get some forms he'd forgotten. When he returned, he brought a jacket for me to wear, because it was freezing in the tax office. This would be the sweet and charming side of him that I mentioned before.
*At another point in the proceedings, he slipped and called me "hon." This was the only time during the whole ordeal that I almost cried.
*Ultimately, when we finished with the whole mess, he did not thank me for saving him hundreds of dollars. Not one word of thanks, just "Take care, see ya." Ah, yes. That was more what I expected.
posted by flipper at 10:53 AM
2 Comments:
You did do the right thing and you should be happy that you can be rational and honest and human about it all.
You did do the right thing...I know it feels bad sometimes. It's what I did...The Idiot would have had to pay quite a bit had we not filed joint taxes. And he didn't thank me either.
Go you!
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