Tax Day Approacheth
Well, he did call, and under the terms I requested--he called me on my cell after work hours yesterday. And we're set on the tax thing--we're meeting at a walk-in tax-prep place on Thursday at 6:30. That would be the day after tomorrow.
I guess my biggest fear right now is that we'll get to this place and have to wait, together, in some dreary room for God knows how long. I anticipate I'll have flashbacks to when we used to wait in the counselor's office, not really speaking, dreading the forthcoming encounter. Seriously, though, I have no idea how it will be, although I have a strong suspicion that it will be weird no matter what. He sounded pretty calm and reticent on the phone yesterday, and actually said that he hopes I "have a good week."
O.K., I do know what I'm afraid of--that he's going to be very sweet and charming (and he can be--most of you know that), and that he'll get me thinking about the "good times," and that all of this will send me into a depression again, said state of which I have fought off pretty successfully over the last several weeks. I just have absolutely no idea where he's at right now, what he's thinking, or what his intentions are. It's kind of scary.
I do want to thank my friend Paul, though, for letting me bend his ear today and giving me some good advice--mainly, that I know S. very well, and that I'll be able to pick up on whether he's being sincere or manipulative, and that I'll be able to act accordingly, and that I'll be all right no matter what. It's a really nice thing sometimes, when your friends have more faith in you than you have in yourself . . . and it can also work to strengthen your faith in yourself. Thanks for that, Paul--really.
One thing I've realized this week, though, is that even though I've berated S. for severing all contact between us, I have to admit that it really does help. The no-contact thing makes it so much easier to move on. But is it healthy, really? That, I'm just not sure about.
I guess my biggest fear right now is that we'll get to this place and have to wait, together, in some dreary room for God knows how long. I anticipate I'll have flashbacks to when we used to wait in the counselor's office, not really speaking, dreading the forthcoming encounter. Seriously, though, I have no idea how it will be, although I have a strong suspicion that it will be weird no matter what. He sounded pretty calm and reticent on the phone yesterday, and actually said that he hopes I "have a good week."
O.K., I do know what I'm afraid of--that he's going to be very sweet and charming (and he can be--most of you know that), and that he'll get me thinking about the "good times," and that all of this will send me into a depression again, said state of which I have fought off pretty successfully over the last several weeks. I just have absolutely no idea where he's at right now, what he's thinking, or what his intentions are. It's kind of scary.
I do want to thank my friend Paul, though, for letting me bend his ear today and giving me some good advice--mainly, that I know S. very well, and that I'll be able to pick up on whether he's being sincere or manipulative, and that I'll be able to act accordingly, and that I'll be all right no matter what. It's a really nice thing sometimes, when your friends have more faith in you than you have in yourself . . . and it can also work to strengthen your faith in yourself. Thanks for that, Paul--really.
One thing I've realized this week, though, is that even though I've berated S. for severing all contact between us, I have to admit that it really does help. The no-contact thing makes it so much easier to move on. But is it healthy, really? That, I'm just not sure about.
posted by flipper at 8:02 PM
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